2018 is a wrap, 2019 is up for grabs. I wouldn’t say there are tangible opportunities I seized last year. As a matter of fact when opportunity (for me to write) knocked, I ran through the back door because I thought it was the cops. Sometimes opportunity would knock and say it just wants to talk. I asked how many opportunities they were at the door and they said two. I asked the two opportunities to talk to each other since I was tepid and in no mood to talk to an opportunity or two. Am hoping to have a solid acquaintance with opportunity moving forward.
December is that time of the year when people with broken families feel it the most. It will get better with time. Because one day someone will give you their time. And that will be the greatest gift. Because when you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that you will never get back. And if you don’t have enough money to spend you can still spend time with family, friends. Achebe once said that a man who calls his family and friends to feast does not do it to save them from hunger. They all have food in their own home. When we gather at the village in the moonlight, it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We meet because it is good to do so. Let’s continue with the team spirit. Meet and enjoy each other’s company regardless of our differences. If we smile together it is not because we do not have problems, but because we are stronger than the problems.
January is here and a fair number of minions have been waiting for this opportunity to make resolutions and take charge of their lives. Because doing so in June or November is making up your mind too soon and decisions are only sound and wise in January. The other day a friend was celebrating her birthday and she hinted that I should get her something that will last. I got her a 2019 calendar. She hates me now. Am not sure if she cut me off because messages threatening to cut people off have been hailing from Whatsapp stories to Instagram stories. People are measuring your loyalty to them by the signature of your view on their stories. Suddenly, people have the insatiable urge to have everyone checking up on them every week or their loyalty will be questionable.
Today I saw a guy at Java. No phone, no laptop, no tablet. He just sat there, drinking coffee like a psychopath. Yet I was seated there with my phone afraid that I might miss a story on Instagram or worse, Meagan Good’s next photo, or a trending topic on twitter. Let it sink that we don’t all have to bump into a girl carrying books, only to pick them up together and fall in love. We might live in the same building but we have different views. I hope there are days when your coffee tastes like magic, your playlist makes you smile and the night sky touches your soul. I hope there are days you fall in love with being alive.
Tomorrow is an opportunity in itself and that means there’s more work to put in whichever cause we’ve signed up for. Life unravels before us in shocking ways. If you find yourself unemployed very few people will offer a sense of respect to you. Even chicken will have sex in front of you. Speaking of coitus, research shows that birth control pills and condoms are second and third most effective methods of controlling population growth, school fees continues to hold the top spot. You know sometimes I feel like getting a girl and settling down for the rest of our lives but my problem is who will take care of the other girls. Again, most wives have a disliking towards their husband’s friends yet most husbands love their wife’s (female) friends. Because men are generally nice.
It is always refreshing to take a few classes from our beloved fervent feminists. Helps cushion the alarming levels of patriarchy. It burns chauvinism to the ground before it spreads like bushfire. All in a bid to instill chastity and align the brainwash that comes with gender superiority. At this point allow my satire to begin.
See, one advantage of being a woman is nobody will ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you that you are the mother. A man plans a traditional wedding with one woman and another woman surfaces with twins! If you have been religiously following up on people’s marital and relationship status then you must have picked up a few lessons. In Africa, women realize that the penis was small only after a breakup.
Let empowerment for the girl child thrive to a point it blossoms even within their nurturing bosoms. And just to echo what has already been put out there in the dailies, young women need to re-think their life choices. And men too. It is understandable that we are the first generation living in the epoch of social media. The pressure to impress is immense. Dating is a quagmire, a puzzle; when you are not grappling with a young and flashy man, who will risk it all and waste your six months, you are dealing with an old man who will throw money at you. A man who encourages you to study and work hard adds more value to your life than a man who buys you weaves to put on your empty head. One night he will come home craving to play with your hair only for you to tell him that your hair is in the wardrobe.
Common sense tends to be of the opinion that you cannot have standards depending on people’s money. You don’t have to depend on your husband’s cash to buy underwear. Make up your mind. Learn to live within your means and position yourself to qualify for those top jobs rather than sit back and play victim while clinging onto that equality bullshit.
Beware of destination addiction: The idea that happiness is in the next place, next job or even your next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are. Stay present, you have to break up with the idea that; I’m not where I want to be in life. Yes personal development matters, however, obsessing about the future can inhibit your happiness in the present moment. Focus on your attitude today, for now is all we truly have.
Wipe those tears, forgive yourself. It is not entirely your fault that you fell for a man who hurt you. Society trained you to respect his money more than you respect yourself. Society influenced you to love his big car before you could love his character. Society raised you to love his big house before you could truly know what rests within him, his personality. Wipe those tears. Forgive yourself.