​You don’t need a Light skin, all you need is a Right skin

Photo Courtesy

The city is lit. The streets are paved with a myriad shades that form a spectrum that is the broad daylight. The heavy weight have sought refuge in being vegans to get their light weight and groove back. To get their right weight back.  People actually have a type. Notwithstanding, I have accepted to live with the fact that the last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.  Some will only espouse a light-skin regardless of what they possess skin deep. Others will see dark skins and think these shade of people are all night runners and a constant reminder of charcoal and burnt offerings upon the face of earth. All of a sudden even more souls are becoming insecure about their skin color.

Bleaching is not just for soiled napkins and white washing in this era of a glamorous planet. Bleaching has been used immensely and widely for brain-washing as well.  The rate at which human beings are bleaching their faces is alarming to levels you might end up dating your ex again without much of a clue.  Having a girlfriend who is ever dressed in a decent amount of face foundation and an assortment of makeup is all legal until you one day meet her fresh from the bathroom and now you have to call the police to fish her out of your dungeon for trespassing.

As sure as the president of Kenya addressing the nation while inebriated on an overdose of whiskey, you will watch the police take her away amidst screams of “This is not my real face”.  Sounds like things that happen in the 20th century movies only but tell you what, this shit is real. The other day my friend Martin while wiping away the tears off his girlfriend’s face,  accidentally wiped off her eyebrows too. She noticed her eyebrows were no more and so it was only fair for her to cry her boyfriend a river to wash away her catastrophic pain of losing her eyebrows, thick foundation and green lipstick.  People get in shit all courtesy of makeup. Some will rub it on your face that you are not shit without make up. The liberated lot will not give two shits about your opinion. They will politely ask you to write your opinion on a piece of paper, roll it like a Cuban cigar and shove it down your rectum. Liberated rogue women can roast you like bush meat after skinning you alive with savagery.

Makeup harbors the concoction that brings out an aesthetic value for faces that would otherwise seem intolerably baffling in this epoch that broods discrimination. It’s a fight for survival, to at least minimize scaring off potential mating species looking for an heir. Problem is, many of the players in this game of conquering the heart are more concerned with the growth of their hair than the brain underneath it.

The same case is true for a fraction of ladies who know how to kill it in pictures but let them cook beans fresh from the garden for you and you will find all then stones used to kill Goliath. You’ll forgive her because maybe she’s throwing hints that you are her savior who can turn stones into bread.

Your skin tone is becoming a big deal to extremes people think the affluent are only attracted to light skins, brown skins and skins sparsely splashed with melanin. Millionaires are ready to throw Arab money to be entertained by blondes who sell their skin pigmentation and unbelievable ego. All men are millionaires, at least by sperm count, funny thing is even those are spent on women.  A lady will most likely not kiss a frog if there is no tangible promise that a prince charming will pop out of it. What could possibly go wrong if you kiss a frog just because you love frogs? You don’t have to change a thing on yourself, the world can change its heart.

Light skin men are automatically being branded as ‘blondes’.  Light skin women are being branded as petty pretty ladies. The other day me and my friend who had just been posted to Nanyuki for work met my light skin friend who happens to be a lady. The conversation went down like this;

Guy: Where do you live?

Light skin: I Live in Karen, what about you?

Guy: Naishi Nanyuki (She interprets it as “I live with bees acting unaware there there’s a town named Nanyuki” ) 

Light skin: Huogopi zikudunge?

Shock!

*Raucous Laughter*

That said, I agreed that ignorance is bliss sometimes. These could be the ladies who never cook nor wash dishes because they don’t want to break their nose while smelling an aroma or break their nails while scrubbing a pan.  Sometimes ladies get it all wrong when they meet the man of their dreams; when a man says he’ll do anything for a woman, he means he would stop bullets and kill dragons… Not clean the basement and wash dishes. You see, its only ladies who will say all men are the same and still go ahead and say they are waiting for the right one. Having one woman is enough? Really! For the love of the almighty, are you calling King Solomon a fool? But nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke black man who is tremendously good in bed.

The right one might finally come and we will take them home. Then our parents will notice they are either light skin or dark skin. Skin color will leave them unperturbed. They will watch in despair as the above mentioned light skin cut onions to prepare Ginger tea. Then as you and your light skin leave the countryside your parents will mumble a few lines like;

“Love is the most important thing here, as long as both of you love each other.”  Then at this point you realize that you either brought home an Ugly partner or a partner who can never be celebrated on a mother’s day!

And just when I thought ladies are the only ones overly preoccupied and conscious about their skin tone, I collected my jaws from the floor after learning that a Kenyan Rapper Mr. Jones had decided to get rid of the tint on his skin because his dark skin was absorbing too much sunlight it almost roasted his intestines, liver and Kidney. He was so insecure about the bleaching agent he used and what his fans would think so he wrote a song to sanitize his makeover just in case those who listen to him thought he had disregarded the mana that appreciates that all black lives matter.

Like i said, How do you face your problems when the problem is your face? Well,  you’ll face a mirror sprucing up your face more than you can face the intricacies that this colorful earth has to offer.