Toothy grin because all dogs go to heaven

” You men are all the same…”  (I’m  inclined to comprehend that the lady who invented that phrase was a Chinese who lost her boyfriend in a crowd! ) such are the sentiments you will get from a frustrated damsel in distress who just survived the intriguing intricacies of her playboy, rendering her the “SideChick“. She always thought she was the ‘Main course meal’ … and here you are drooling and lusting over Halle Berry.. yet she is the ripe berry herself (Heck thats why you found her palatable, because she can also be eaten on the dinner table) Woe unto you if she is the whining Winnie…you will curse why you hit on a Talking Tom Cat.. (Or is she the Mother?) Then instead of  trying to give Halle Berry a baby regardless your invalid dreams to fertilise a celebrity… You will sit in a corner and concentrate on how to get rid of that very Mellow Mellisa who acts more insecure than a lady who asks “What are we”  after a successful romp with her crush! Really?!  What better answer would you give to such an uncalled for question, other than sing along to the tune with a “We are the ones… We are the Children…. We are the ones to make a better day..!”. She’ll probably never talk to you again because for sure you have zero chills.. Then she’ll probably call you a dog…(Not because of your favorite position in bed, but because she feels used) You’ll flare up… And because you have already “harvested”  her you will think she is not Halle Berry anymore because she just became bitter for nothing and she is now the berry from hell….! Ooh dear Beryl ! Lets be real here…!

Speaking of being real…. Its time to reel our noggins with some reality check… Nowadays the heels some of these girls wear turn out to be longer than their relationships. Its never the fault of their shoe size though… The blame always goes to the loser(playboy) they dated oblivious that they were never high on Marijuana when letting that same Villain be the juror that presides over her their Morning Glory…! Really Mary Jane? He’s still the same damn Philanderer you chose as your bacon and eggs… (*Bae*) You were just gullible and maybe found him reliable at that moment. These are the same type that say they are looking for Mr. RIGHT  only for them to end up choosing the wrong Guy!  My dear.. you should have chosen Mr. LEFT!… they make you turn out to be less suicidal! Because they Left their scandalous indulgences right in a trash can! 
Sex Drive

Sex is not a tag identified with gender anymore…. It is that Physical Education.. the anticipated P.E that was always on the timetable but was never wholesomely utilised.. working on each other  a.k.a coition without caution or protection .! Instead of brain-storming these folks will be having a sex Congress in their brain cells hence the need to get laid pronto!  (Look at the minors that were found in Eldorets underground club indulging in raunchy debauchery ….some were babies trying to make babies and some were making condoms a sperm bank) Are these the kind of  ‘Tools of enjoyment’ a Student leader included in their exorbitant birthday budget?
This should be an eye opener to some of the simpletons  who haven’t discovered how naive they can be. “I love you” seems to be the magic words (keys) that opens those thighs like a yawning hippopotamus, ready to welcome that “Boner-fired” head that stands tall even in adversity… Because for sure its the bonafide user at that moment.! They have their mind set that the only reason to wait for sex for one month is if the Girl is 17 years and 11 months old. Are you kidding me….!? How do you simply put your panties to the side just because a thirsty Negritude told you he loves you.?  Love is simply an excuse for teenagers to have sex!  If you want to find true love start with keeping a puppy.. And maybe tell him to keep a cat too because that pussy will need tender care and true Love!


Why men are branded dogs…

Apparently… Men don’t want sex.. they need it! So if you keep an electric fence around your cookie so that your man can limit the number of times he can have a bite,  the poor guy will move out stealthily and find a cookie jar where he can dip his head and savour that delicacy to his gratification… Talk of a contented cat! He will definitely cut you off sooner or later because you might just be a trophy after all… But that might be a non-issue, maybe just a thought that can easily be shrugged off because its never always about getting it right in between the sheets. There’s more to life… I agree… But then again….
You can give a woman the world and she won’t want it from you until you try to give  it to someone else..! Hold up sunshine.. The world doesn’t revolve around you! It revolves around the Sun!

The Moment a lass says all men are the same… Probably vagabonds that are out to fix their erectile complexities by dipping them in their spongy pubic mesophylls! I can’t help but ask myself why do these hapless ladies go around sampling all Men.! Its very unfortunate!  Are you a litmus paper?! (like someone once said… If you are given beauty without brains.. Its your private parts that suffer the most!)
Such are the type Njoki Chege(Nation Kenya Columnist) was out to bulldoze for being easy to see (FAT). Most women don’t even need to workout… They burn enough calories by simply jumping into conclusions! You see.. jumping into a supposition  like “all men are dogs”  can actually make you loose 20 pounds maybe.. Yes! Simply horridly Outrageous! Never happening!

I can’t blame it all on Women though… Maybe you cant satisfy a woman after all… God gave a woman the world and she cheated with an Apple! Adam was the the only man on Earth and she still cheated with a serpent… A SERPENT FOLKS!
I know y’all Ladies want that perfect guy that treats you like a queen and spills honey all over you if only to shower you with love as a substitute of sweet nothings… That guy that will never cheat on and will instead go to ICC for your crimes against humanity! Maybe they exist In Mars now that water was discovered there,  but just incase they don’t Find clay and create them yourself! Or better still be a nun and wait for Jesus.!

I hope all dogs go to heaven…..


13 Comments Add yours

  1. Arita says:

    Haha this got me laughing all through…true though,men NEED sex!! and yoh! she cheated with a serpent coz he offerd an apple not a prick.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. itsmarcel says:

      Point is she wasn’t loyal Still….


  2. Geoffrey Gitau says:

    Hahaha….the ‘what are we’ part made my day…try giving the world to someone else and you might not be alive to hear the dog part.!…..great article!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. itsmarcel says:

      @Geoffrey… Thanks for reading i appreciate..the Give them the World and they will still be thirsty enough to want Mars pluto and Saturn… Even with all that water on Earth!


  3. jayjoy says:

    so far this is my best……. doubleO you did great ..’ Most women don’t even need to
    workout… They burn enough calories by
    simply jumping into conclusions! ‘ my best blogger

    Liked by 1 person

    1. itsmarcel says:

      I appreciate you reading Jayjoy… Keep reading.. Thank You for the all hail DoubleONews


  4. Mariah says:

    wow…that article made my day…im in love with that ….its all true..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. itsmarcel says:

      I appreciate you passing by to read a piece…. Keep reading…


  5. The syntax of words my friend, spectacular. Perhaps you should also try the Spoken Word Industry #JustSayingBro. Brute force used to sink in the truth right there. Honest piece.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s