Now am sitting here thinking out loud as I fill my cup with more chamomile tea, because I’m just about to pour out my sentiments just so you can have a drink… But first let me document the mood with a Selfie!
Nice shot..! But wait… i think that one conspicuously parades my acne-infested face… (The poor chap in that snap probably doesn’t give a hoot about the edifice behind him caught in an inferno… Or is it their life on fire?) So let me take another Selfie – – After all its not like my 8 megapixels on the front Camera are gonna get depleted! So again i say.. “capture” (Welcome to the Robotics generation Grandpa…where folks take photos using gestures and Voice Commands.. thanks to an epoch where smartphones are working in shifts to make smart-fellows join dinosaurs into extinction! ). This second shot makes my nose look so colossal though… Its humongous nature might convince all and sundry that indeed i can smell Jealousy… Which might consequently boggle their noggins that am the conspiracy behind lack of enough oxygen for species of Kingdom plantae to grow! (Even with three sets of noses i possibly can’t consume that much oxygen!) These Negritudes can be really mean! So lemme give it another shot just so i can get the right Selfie-shoot! And the absurdities of finding the super selfie demographics begin!
The Selfie game metamorphoses into such a serious board-meeting with your self-esteem you cant help but work your ass off just to get that perfect shot that will convince all these “Monkeys” that indeed you were wonderfully and fair-fully crafted by your Procreator ! If anything.. beauty is skin deep so by all means you are trying to dig to the core of your countenance to discover where your beauty clandestinely lies… if not that facial expression that makes you look like beyonce – – and that bizarre inclination that threatens to render you crippled as you try to protrude your otherwise 1 Gigabyte derriere… What happened to contentment! Accept the content of your body (booty) because reality will finally intercept! (Thats poetic) If you are a Techie like me you’d join me in saying altering your throughput will not put you on the alter for a happily ever after… (And the poem continues)…
A stooge will irrefutably spend their last dime to purchase a handset with the best camera just to spend the entire day taking a gazillion Selfies as a full-time job!.. I Dont mind such a person sharing a brain with the Goldfish but there’s nothing “Goldish” in outrightly placing your priorities right out of context! It’s a con of your pros (i agree its non of my business) and if indeed its your business I’d rather you bought a canon camera and ventured into photography…! And at that point ad give you a run for your money! Upto this point even My Progenitor will agree with me that if you have to take10-20 Selfies to get the right one… then allow me to crown you the ugliest Clown in town… (But still you are not that hopeless… Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. .. So you are not totally a savage… you’ll still meet a sapien who will salvage your esteem and you will both live together into old age)
Dear Selfie Addicts…”pris” tread the social platforms with utter modesty as you quest to trend… Your photogenic genes might inadvertently drive the photophobic fellows into damnation.. rendering them only fit to live in the jungle with Australopithecus because they’d rather hide in their cocoons and not bring their faces out to play in the filter infested world of home-made billboards hosted by Social media! Their Meadows are probably mowed with “groundies” galore!
Taking Selfies is a good thing….sure thing it gets insatiable at times amidst incessant uncertainties of your complexion because some snaps will grossly leave you perplexed if not vexed… upholding the fact that you actually qualify to be a scarecrow! Thats actually your opinion… Listen to your heart.. Dont be hurt… Just burry your face in a hat and weep it off! Dont make the situation worse by adding more selfies to your gallery… It makes the camera look stupid because its trying to too hard to turn water into Wine… For Petes sake! That’s quite a misplaced struggle to partake. I’m not saying you should stop taking Selfies..on the contrary… take as many.. Yes its a sickeningly sweet thing.. but it becomes entirely catastrophic if its the only thing you can work on. I mean… You can’t be that mean to yourself to a point you can’t even work on yourself because you have to work on your Selfie! So they will say… If Cats can take Selfies who are we to live in denial and not represent the superior species of Kingdom Animalia in celebrating the epitome of photography gone berserk!
This is not the article meant to scorn selfies and those that make it their daily cuisine if not a savouring routine… Instead its meant to make you feel serene even with a single capture of yourself and another capture of the cake of life that everyone is working so hard to get a piece.. indefatigably. Oooh and before i overlook … Its so heartbreaking for one to take 10 selfies just to get the right one to force down my (our) throats only for us to meet you in the streets looking like the other Nine! Its Simply ludicrously Asinine!