Spreading ones rather inconspicuous wings in a bid to find a fecund who can aid grace this planet with hybrid progeny, is a deliberate effort that most folks would desire to culminate, in their quest to unleash the generation next… The dreaded robots, (weetabix kids) … But spreading your legs like butter whenever you meet guy with money takes away your right to even have a husband.. Says my Progenitor.
There’s always that Luscious damsel in distress that will always dress in shouting amalgamation of Colours and wear a perfume so concentrated you’d think their nose is only meant to smell jealously.. and not even their natural odour can stop them! They will apply makeup so exquisitely you cant help but notice the clown in them– and after speaking to them you would wish they ate that make up so that they can be pretty on the inside too! Yes… They know what makes these lads’ phalluses throb with haemoglobin and so they will prudently set the trap and as clever as you may think you are you’ll dive into the ocean and quench your thirst expeditiously only to realise you did not use the new invention.. the contraceptive that changes colour as an alarm, of an imminent STI “handshake” between those two consoles that would rather play in between the sheets. The colour… So i hear… Changes even before the friction is enough to light up her chimney!
Maybe all you needed was to hydrate your body with pure water and save your poor soul from anticipating a gateway in the sahara or the Kalahari …Being the victim of lust makes your brain impaired when it comes to finding a long term partner… So your noggin will be accustomed to finding a lass with a booty so colossal and in total disregard of how much tissue paper she might actually be using up in your apartment with all that humongous derriere! (Economics of scale doesn’t apply here). On seeing her Bristols, that Guys “pistol” will conform to an arsenal ready to give a 21 gun salute, if only for his bullets to perforate the funbags she is carrying on her chest, sending his soul to a drinking spree of natural milk! Nourishment accomplishment… They will consequently belch…since for sure their thirsty lust driven lost souls have found themselves at the epitome of sultry and have indeed been satiated. By all means Mr. thirsty Guy… give me a Touche!
This is not the life i ordered
All these… are factors my Progenitor wouldn’t deter anyone from having in their checklist if by any chance they had a “type” and if they were in pursuit of a long-term partner. The only quagmire would be noticing later that aside from the ripe berries she possessed, she has no wit to offer. It gets even worse when she is confined to her brains with an absolute oblivion that the world is bigger than their brains, be it literally or hypothetically. So they will sit around and order junks from Mc Dee and Mc Frys only for their abdomen to grow some fatty cylindrical tissues, one would mistake them for a petroleum tank! You telling them to work out will send them yelling like underfed vagabonds (They will probably think you want them to find a job because it wasn’t in their English teacher’s job description to teach synonyms and that indeed workout is exercise!) .. Apparently this is the point it dawns on you that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… And after comparing her to a domesticated creature, you chicken out on what has become of your life because for sure the chicken have come home to roost!
When the flower finally withers…
There is no worse feeling than a stooge zealously chasing after a girl and constantly playing dumb to be the alejandro… just to win her over (of course because of her protruding posterior and anterior funbags) and finally due to your fat wallet, getting the VIP ticket to her sausage wallet – – – with the Carte blanche of presiding over her morning glory, and later noticing that the “groceries” she’s been letting you eat are long overdue and are not as immortal as you thought! The once irresistible cleavage will have now turned into a pair of sagging bazookas because you and your son were competing for the treasured White “booz” therein. The once plumpy butt will be nothing but a beef chunk hanging precariously as if pleading to be taken to a butcher Pronto. You’d wish you hit her out of your dungeon with a baseball bat! This is after noticing that indeed her superficial charm was all she had to offer and her using her brains would actually prove to be a strenuous ordeal to her. So this is the point i get to say… common sense is not a gift..its a punishment! Because you have to deal with everyone without it!
When reality finally dawns
That having been said… you realise that indeed you cant keep her refrigerated just to keep her fresh. My Progenitor says you have to invest in a girl that can bring more than re-tweets and Instagram likes! If her full-time job is to solicit likes by advertently working her ass off to become a socialite then brace yourself for an auction folk… Because she’s up for grabs..and of course “cheap” products will attract a gazillion customers.
Beauty is good but brain is blissful
Its at this level you will set your priorities right and look for a companion in a straight mental state and not a straight phallus! Passion should NOT override reason… You need to enjoy your life even in times of your pension… and wit is all you need as part of your Union with another sapien.
Do you agree with my Progenitor that its brain over Beauty? I do… This i have to say, even before i walk down the aisle! But first let me give myself a Java treat with two stimulating cups of coffee!